Dissertation Draft Feedback

This week I had my feedback for my dissertation draft back from Ashley, which as always, turns out to be super helpful. She gave me some really good pointer back on my writing style and way to make my dissertation sound much more formal and professional.

I wish that while I write, I explained more. Or even noticed where I need to explain more. It’s like I don’t even think that certain parts need explaining because, well I know what I’m writing about, so surely everyone else knows it too! I kind of forget that everyone knows different things and someone who’s never chosen one of Ashley’s modules, probably doesn’t know what Marx theory of direct creation is, or what theories Bordieu had on class segregation.

I also didn’t realise that I wrote so informally, I always remember when I was told that while writing an essay no one cares about my opinion, so I needed to say them as if they were fact – never ever writing ‘I’ or personalising it. Funnily enough, I don’t remember who told me this, when they told me this or where. I just remember that when writing essays, and dissertations by extension, you should never be personal. Which is why I found it very weird to write a very personal introduction.

But back to the point, I write too informally, using a lot of ‘we’ and ‘you’ and ‘looking at’, so I need to totally nip that in the bud and start sounding way more analytical, *face palm*, start sounding much more analytical. (I’m learning already!)

I also finally got Situating Everyday Life by Sarah Pink from the inter-library loan system. There are two chapters that sound like the could be super interesting, the introduction, which is about everyday activism, and also one of the later chapters which looks at including the internet. Both chapters could be really helpful to my dissertation, and I’m actually looking forward to reading it.

overall I was pleased with my feedback, and the fact that my dissertation is on its way to being done. I’ve established a structure and my style of writing, while needing to be more formal, I think is actually ok for stringing my ideas together. I feel like once I make these small changes to my dissertation so far, I will able to take on board how I need to write the rest and and up with a super boss dissertation that really professional sounding, makes great arguments and is actually quite interesting.

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